It's been over a week since my date with a girl I met on the "dating" website rather than the "sexing" website. It did not go well. This week has been recovery. I plan to shorten the time required to recuperate from terrible dates as I plan to have more of them in the future.
Here's how it went down:
I arrived at the steps of the State Library at five past noon, five minutes late, puffing and nervous like woah. This girl had come on strong. She had sent me text messages about how her large feet reflected her large breast size, the red lacy underwear she had purchased in anticipation for our date and other rather direct messages that she was expecting rampant sex the moment we met. I did not reply to these advances. I was scared shitless.
This shitless feeling continued as I stood on the State Library steps in my carefully selected cute-not-sexy outfit and waited. Fifteen past noon, she sent me a text message apologising that she was running late.
I took out my notebook and drew. I drew three pictures.
She turned up at twelve forty-five. It was obvious from the first moment she sees me that she is disappointed in something about me. Maybe it's my nerdy glasses or retarded overbite. Maybe in the *three* days between our initial contact and this meeting, she had built me up to be some unreachable goddess of sex and lust and when faced with the short, geeky Super, the bubble burst. She wore sunglasses, carried a leather handbag and wore a faux diamond around her neck. At that moment, I knew we were not meant to be.
We picniced, vegan style. She was impressed at my vegan sandwich skills. When she leant over to get more baby tomatoes, I saw her tomato-red bra. I tried to flirt. I did terribly and it was not well received. We laughed and talked like friends. She was really nice.
As arranged, we went to the movies and watched some trash. I offered her my hand in that smooth "here-is-my-hand-sitting-here-ready-to-be-taken" way but she did not accept the offer. The film was terrible. I felt awkward the whole time.
I walked her to her car which was on the way to my house. We hugged and I said I owed her money for the film and she kind of did not commit to a second date at which I could repay her. I said goodbye. She hasn't emailed me or texted me which is a major drop off from the five-times-a-day she had going on before we met.
I didn't like her but I really wanted her to like me. What's with that?
- THINGS I HAVE LEARNT:
- 1) I want a girl the same age as me or younger. Definitely not older by more than two years.
- 2) I don't want an arrogant girl.
- 3) I want a girl who is not so sexually aggressive.
- 4) I don't want a girl who wears brand names sold at Myers.
- 5) I am probably more attractive in my profile pictures than in real life and should change the asap.
Next entry I will tell you about the beautiful girl sex I had with one of my best friends that really made the shitty date seem trivial. Don't you wish I'd written about that instead??
- Super
